"All I want..." he said, "is thirty seconds"(2022)
![“All I want...” he said, “is thirty seconds” (2022). Oil on Canvas. 72 x 96 x 2 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d44c611f5c29fa003df4425b2282ef276db27dcbc59b7d99978963c89a08c734/Mattern-16-2.jpg)
![(Detail) “All I want...” he said, “is thirty seconds” (2022). Oil on Canvas. 72 x 96 x 2 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9bcecfde03006b1a9e74833c1159a962c9d0b825a8ecad0e5b2acf3ea723c6e2/mattern-17.jpg)
![(Detail) “All I want...” he said, “is thirty seconds” (2022). Oil on Canvas. 72 x 96 x 2 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9b001cd1c8af33777e5fc0f9aeac872fe95c302e7306e32f49803350ee2f6e0a/Mattern-19.jpg)
![Lay it On Me (2022). Inkjet on paper, 44 × 33 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9d2d8e65fc780b0e2da2d4ae065be8cac334ab8cc54d94d9f619629a9d1548d8/oct91.jpg)
![Indecent Ellipses (2022). Inkjet on paper, 44 × 33 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ea9feb6dc1ff9a85089dcb9ead1f5566643915e022b12127a7282cabda840940/oct88.jpg)
![Eulogies of Wide Maneuvers (2022). Inkjet on paper, 44 × 33 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/94022833efddea7556c85c45089a5c65f45d07196cf41cd169ff14d18eb990ee/oct81.jpg)
![Near Here Lies (2022). Inkjet on paper, 44 × 33 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/69bd5e392eada9c9f3181233a36cd92ea224d6c293e5c23bdb89de1fd80505f1/oct135.jpg)
As I examine eroticized bodies and environments, I define a slippery call-and-response system of looking that blends primordial and contemporary dreams of homoerotic desire. When classical references are in conversation with queer histories of visual exchange, such as cruising, I create moments of missed glances through body mirroring, compositional cropping, and material erasure. This line of making blurs the line between those who desire and those who are desired. By engaging these questions, I interrogate the experiential stakes of my own queer longing through historical traditions of hiding in plain sight.
While a scream is considered a captured, invisible force in relation to horror, I question what the invisible and unnamable forces that relate to beauty are. Through the embodied process of painting, I examine the disparity between the human hand and the machine to bridge the contradictory nature of forming and losing an identity. As one desires something until the moment they have it, my work eludes identification to illicit dreams that were never one’s own to fulfill. Eternally grasping, never reaching, my work revels in the chase itself.
![Give us nothing, Golden Grandeur (2022). Oil on Canvas. 72 x 60 x 2 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/bb87ff601efceef0d7fc3e2d6ac5c054bc31b09062364ef9e6ecafdd5a45315c/Mattern-1-2.jpg)
![(Detail) Give us nothing, Golden Grandeur (2022). Oil on Canvas. 72 x 60 x 2 in.](https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ff6351b7433ef39d7fbde776a326e73fb3beb87abc697f3ad0e66e3a7e5fac7d/Mattern-1-3.jpg)
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Do not reproduce without written consent.